Tuesday, September 01, 2009

6... Months, Seconds, Million Years

Dear Klaus,

As of today, you've been gone for 6 months. Each day seems like an eternity without you. My brain still cannot comprehend that you're not here, and keeps trying to convince me that you're just on an extended vacation. I cry everyday. Time isn't healing my wounds, they are still throbbing, itchy, and yes, occasionally oozing.

While 6 months is a completely arbitrary amount of time, it still struck me hard today. In a way it seems like a large amount of time, and in another it's a tiny speck of time. Grief is a harsh task-mistress - whenever I feel like things are getting better, I quickly get smacked back down. Brave face on, facing the world, but underneath all is just a muddy puddle.

You will be happy to know that Bogart takes his Man of the House role seriously. Sometimes too seriously. He had such a fantastic vacation in LA at Casa Mareike where he got to just be a dog - run around a backyard, sleep during the day, and occasionally fight for food - and while I appreciate his increased protectiveness of me, I will work hard so that in the future he gets more "just being a dog" time.

You pop up in my dreams every once in awhile, but always in a supporting role. I'm still waiting for my leading man to return.

Bogart and I miss you SO MUCH




Moco said...

Time does not always heal all wounds.

Finni said...

Nibbles and Licks from Nelly and hard headrubs from me xxxxx

Mango said...

Momma's eyes are leaking for you. We have no words.


The Meezers said...

our eyes are leaking for you too. purrrrrrrrsssss {{{{HUGS}}}} and furry headbutts.

Randi said...

Time is a senseless word when you feel like you are not going forward & not going backward...yet if you look up - up to the skies - I bet you will feel Klaus smiling down on you...

Today we will look to the skies in honor of Klaus...

Love & Licks,
Randi & her mom/secretary...

PS...what a fantastic photo...

TwoSpecialWires said...

Lulu, your eyes so deeply connect in this photo. The love is obvious. Nothing will take that away. Ever.

Wirey love,
Jake and Fergi

animal lover, quilt lover said...

Lulu, I am so sorry for you lose!!!!!Your love will always be there for him!!! So glad you have Bogart!! Love you all, Fern

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

Lulu - my thoughts are with you, for whatever 'my thoughts' are worth.

I cannot imagine your pain. Well to be honest, sometimes, in the deepest, darkest night, when nightmares patrol the inky black darkness of the night world, perhaps I can, but only slightly.

I have no words to comfort you, because there are truly no words.

The last photo on your post "says" it all. You were both so totally in love.

I feel powerless to say anymore, anything I say will look "trite" and meaningless.

After 9/11, Queen Elizabeth II, gave a speech at a memorial on in London to all the people from the UK who died in the Twin Towers.

Her words, were so appropriate at that time, and have resonated with me, ever since.

"Grief Is The Price We Pay For Love".

Jeannie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Life is so cruel.

Deetz said...

That is a beautiful photo of you and Klaus. Thanks for sharing!
We think about you everyday.

Dughallmor Beagles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dughallmor Beagles said...

We think strange forces led us here today....first we saw your profile on FB.....then we saw a Bogey lookalike on the beach! We think about you often and wonder how you've been but today you seemed to be everywhere we looked so we thought we'd come and say hi. All of blogland is hugging you right now....do you feel it?
Hugs & slobbers from us too xx

Mack and Sally Ann said...

When my mommy lost her princess Sylvie, she cried and cried. I'm so sorry your husband had to go away. I have to comfort Mommy now because she will cry if I write more about her.
Sally Ann

Lynne said...

My husband/best friend/soul mate has been gone for 6 years. My heart is still broken.

You are in my thoughts. Thank you for your photos and blog. It is indeed a brave face.

Molly,Taffy and Monty said...

We think of you often. Big hugs to you both.

Southbay Girl said...

Lulu, there are no words that i can say that will ease the pain you feel! Just know that there are lots of people, all over the world, who are sending you healing thoughts!

My thoughts are always with you! I don't know what you are going thru but I am SO VERY HAPPY you have Bogart. It's amazing how animals can help ease the pains we have!

Klaus will always be with you-FOREVER!

Penny and Velcro

Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

oh, Lulu. Unfortunately I know your pain. Having lost many I love, and a soulmate I don't share with anyone, I can only say....one never gets over it, only learns to live with it. And sometimes the living doesn't mean so much. My fervent prayer is that i will be reconnected and learn the purpose of these things on the other side. My soulmate never came home from viet Nam. I will never know where his remains lie, but his soul is not over there. I am SO sorry for your loss. I can't put it into words. There just aren't any, but that one day you will meet again in heaven. In the meantime, I know you would give an arm, leg, whatever for one hug.....You stay in my prayers.
The Texas Sundogs-Jamie & kids

Maggie and Mitch said...

We are thinking about you and Bogie, Lulu!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch and Sue

Dawn said...

No you never get over a love lost like yours. And time doesn't change that. But time will, promise, dull the edges just a tiny bit eventually. Six months is just a drop in time, yet I understand how each day is an eternity. For now, just know that there are lots of people sending you warm thoughts. I know it isn't enough, but it is something.

Katie sends kisses.