Sunday, March 30, 2014

Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Gotta Go Right N

Cats pee indoors.  Dogs do their business outside.  Mama was being nice and thought that she would get some peepee pads for me so that I didn't have to go down the stairs and outside to pee.  To which I say, AW HELL NO


A gentleman always pees outside.  Like a racehorse when necessary (like today - I am a badass but I'm not stupid).  End of story.

Love,
Bogart

Friday, March 28, 2014

Surgery, Damnit

 On Thursday, something felt wrong.  Very, very wrong.  I had gone for my first "senior visit" at my local vet last Saturday where they found a large mass in my abdomen.  That wasn't fun, but we had scheduled an ultrasound and biopsy thinking that surgery was a very real possibility.

Well yes, yes it was.

Just a lot sooner than expected when my belly decided early on Thursday morning to start trouble.  So mama packed me off to Penn Veterinary Hospital's emergency clinic.  I've been here before when I had that super-hard poop, and they were nice to me then (except for those fingers up my butt, I won't ever forgive you guys for that) so I kissed mama and went off to get my treatment.

Surgery is always scary.  Emergency surgery requires that you are in the most skilled hands, and we have the utmost confidence in the doctors and nurses at Penn.  Mama spent the day crying and worrying about me, I spent the day looped out of my mind on painkillers and anaesthesia.  At the end of the day I had a tremendous tumor removed along with my spleen and I was ready to sleep.

When I woke up the next day, I wanted out.  Not that I wasn't appreciative, but I wanted to be home.  The fine folks at Penn had made only one mistake - trying to feed me something called "dog food".  If it comes out of a can, it doesn't go into this man, cause I only eat mama's home cooking.  So the doctor called mama and told them about my plight and she rushed over with some chicken soup and treats.  I was just so glad to see her I didn't eat much, but licked a little broth to let her know that I meant business about getting the hell outa Dodge.


It worked.  On Saturday she came with my pal Astro's mama, Deb to spring me from the joint.  Oh how happy I was to see her, even happier once I realized that we were heading home!!  There is nothing in the world like your own bed, nothing.  Even with my skimpy new hairdo I managed to move the pillows around to my liking and head off to dreamland.

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Love,
Bogart