Thursday, February 26, 2009

Sawing Wood

Please accept my apologies for no update yesterday - I think the sleep deprivation is catching up with me a bit.

Yesterday Klaus got an upgrade of sorts - we were moved to another room in the ICU. The room we were in before was fine, but it did not have the facility necessary for the changes to Klaus' dialysis, so the nurses came and got me to do a little room shopping. There were 3 open rooms, and this one was a clear, easy choice. It has a large window (our old room had a window, but it opened onto the inside of the hospital lobby) which is open to the outside, and much more space behind Klaus for me and my Barkalounger.

Hehe. Barkalounger.

Luckily I can sleep almost anywhere - generally not for that long, but falling asleep has never been my problem. Now I can fully extend Ol' Barky, pull out my pillow and blanket, and last night was almost 5 hours. I know that there is always the sounds of beeping and nurses entering and exiting while they tend to Klaus overnight, but I am generally blissfully unaware (Klaus has been kind enough to not have any loud, emergency needs while I have been sleeping so far). The 5 AM xray wakeup call is getting a little old, though.

It is semi-surreal. I have been basically "living" in the ICU now for over a week. This is where I wake up, spend my days, and fall asleep. I know almost all of the nurses and doctors (and love them all for everything they do for my husband). Many of them stop by to say hello even when they are not assigned to work with Klaus.

Klaus' family has been here from Austria this week and it has been wonderful. Both for me and for Klaus. I am sorry that they will have to leave soon, but I understand. We all need to get back to our regular lives (I would do anything to go back before last Tuesday). It seems that mine for the future will revolve around Klaus and the hospital which is a very good thing - in the sense that he is still with us, though still very critical.

I absolutely one zillion percent believe that having paws crossed around the world has already helped my husband do what every medical person here at the hospital thought sure he would not: survive. It is now 10 days. We have so very, very far to go, but to have made it past this first hurdle (while I certainly think of it as the biggest one, I am sure that Klaus would disagree, complain, and say something like, "What, are you kidding me?").

Bogart is still my faithful sentry, guarding the homestead and poking his fuzzy schnoz out of the vertical blinds each time I come home. He has been an incredible source of strength and merriment in a time when I had none of either. Thank you to the many people in Portland (especially you Charlie and your mama) who have offered to take care of him, walk him if need be. Those little respites from the rigors of my days at the ICU (here I can once again hear Klaus interject something about his day being slightly more intense than my own - in a humorous way, of course) are something I truly treasure. Yes, it is a pain in the arse to have to drive all of the way home twice a day. Yes, there were days when I was driving bareknuckled and had our cell phones glued to my hands. But having to do nothing other than come home and be showered with love by my Airedale welcoming committee (with the felines making up the Greek Chorus) and then forced to not roll in my grief but actually get out and walk has actually been very, very good for me. I have been able to think some things through, and make some tough decisions. Bogart offers no opinion, doesn't ask me any medical questions that I am still trying to figure out myself, he just poops. And smiles. And grabs any passing pine cone.

Love,

Lulu

50 comments:

Hollie and Janie said...

Lulu,
I am glad to hear you got a little upgrade in the hospital diggs! I am so, so happy to hear that Klaus is making progress, even if it's slow, it's still progress!! Airedales are the best listeners! And you can't help but smile at Bogart's fuzzy face!!
We love yall!!
Hollie and Janie

Lucia said...

Ciao, mia cara Lulu e Bogie,

I just want you to know how often I think of you and send cross-pawed prayers and good thoughts your way. Lulu, I'm verrrry glad to hear you're now able to get some snoozies in the "Bark"alounger (eccellente!)because it's important to take care of yourself, too, as you take care of Klaus. And Bogie, you're such a buono ragazzo to be giving your mama e papa the love and support they need. Mwah! You are too dolce!

Tanti baci!
Lucia

Martha Basset said...

Hi Lulu
You are right - it is a surreal experience and the fact that Bogart just expects of you what he always did without any questions asked is a blessing!
I don't know if you ever heard the song "Tell me it's not true" but the first time I heard the song I wept buckets because it is so true of this situation you are in now and sadly I was once in. It is from the musical Blood Brothers. It is perhaps something you could listen to some time in the future when you are able to let go........... I know right now you cannot do that.
The internet is a strange thing, I do not know you nor I expect do most of the other bloggers but we are connecting with you at this moment. It is a sad but true fact that human pain is universal and unites us.
You are doing so well, just keep going.
love and best wishes
Martha & Bailey's mum xx

Persephone and Buster said...

the blue dog zen is still flying your way...and the blues are also doing a little jig to keep up the en-ger-knee flowing.... happy to hear of the barkolounger and the new space to be. the window is a definite plus -- for nothing other then to watch the clouds & the stars -- stay pawsitive and keep your sense of humour <----that's why bogart is there for you!
theBUSTER, Ms.Persephone & Ms. Blue too

Deetz said...

Thank you for the update, we do understand when we do not hear anything...no news is good news! The Power of the Paw is so full of love it runnest over....now all that is being directed to Klaus, you, and Bogart...I believe it works! You have a long road ahead and we are with you each mile, even though we are miles away. You are strong and so is Bogart and Klaus will absorb this strength because the power of your love is unbreakable.
Deetzy

BenTheRotti said...

Update when you can but don't feel as if you must. We all understand that this is the least of your priorities right now.
Mum says that my face and our daily walks have helped her immensly with her recent heartache and that there are days when she didn't feel like getting out of bed but because of me and the kids she had to and that once she was up her focus on us helped get her through the day. Mum thinks it's great that you are spending time with Bogart everyday and is convinced this is totally the best therapy for you right now. Still crossing paws and sending heaps of love to you all from here, wish we could wrap you in an enormous hug but hope you can feel the love virtually.

Ben & family xxxxxxxxxxx

Ruby Bleu said...

So good to hear things are steady and that you are getting a little sleep. Ruby and I are crossing paws, fingers and eyes for you all...just think how funny we look!

Love, Michele & Ruby

pughy said...

So glad to read the update and to see that there is progress no matter how slow or small. My mum understands so well how a wet nose or a purr or a look can so lift the spirits. We furry friends are so in tune with what goes on and seem to be able to survive on less attention when needs must.
Lots of love and happy thoughts comming your way from accross the water.

Hugs Ginger Jasper and his family. xxxx

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Dear Lulu,Barkalounger:good one! So glad you are getting a little rest, even if in small increments,it is so necessary.The new room sounds nice.When Klaus opens his eyes you'll be able to share the sky with him. Keep looking up & we will too. You're in our thoughts and prayers, Cassie,Patrick, BabyRocketDog & Hootie

Mango said...

The new room sounds like a big improvement. Actual sunlight will bring even more healing vibes.

You must feel like you are in some alternate universe, and you are! The little fuzzy faced one is helping you stay grounded.

Mango Momma

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

Dear Lulu,

thank you for taking the time out to update us on Klaus' progress. We are pleased to read there has been an improvement too.

Dogs in particular are the best company when you are worried and stressed, I can certainly vouch for that!

Take care and pleased to read you are getting some sleep too.

Lotsaluv and healing vibes,
Jeannie, Marvin and Family xxxxx

Stanley said...

Sweet Lulu!

We are stinkin' happy to hear that Klaus now has a window and that you are getting rest. Stella & I have our noses pressed to the window looking for continued miracles and are praying and working the mojo for Klaus. Remember that folks all over the world are doing what they can to walk with you.

Thanks for taking time to update. We love to hear how Klaus, you and Bogart are, but like someone said earlier, don't feel like you have to blog if you don't feel like it. We understand.

Goober love & smooches,
Stanley

Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

Dear Lulu, Now, of all things, I am wondering if barkoloungers were named after dogs.......strange mind I posess heh.
Isn't it amazing how the unthinkable becomes your norm? Sucks in my humble opinion.
Yay for the room with a view and for Klaus making some progress. A day at a time, even though you wish those days would just go away and never have happened.
From Your sister on the rollarcoaster ride you would like to get off of, thank you very much ;)
We are praying and howling to heaven.
(Hmm, perhaps we should take pics of our barkoloungers and see who has the better one. hah)
Big ol Texas Hugs
Jamie

Jan's Funny Farm said...

You have a wonderful attitude for one going through such an emotionally charged time. Our paws are still crossed for Klaus and you and Bogart.

It's great his family has been able to be there for a while.

Daniella said...

Hello from Philly,
Glad to hear you are getting rest Lulu and that Klaus is improving, even if its slow. Surviving 10 days is a HUGE accomplishment! Glad also that you have the support of family and friends.
Prayers continue unabated..

Hugs,
Axel and Fam

Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

opps hit it too quick
Hey Klaus! It is going to be in the 80's in Texas where we live today. We'll do some zoomies for you in the yard while we are howling to heaven for you! So you better be thinking about one white large (68 lb)standard poodle doing zoomies with a buff 7 lb brown chihuahua just for you!! We're on our way!!
Howlin for you klaus
Sunny&Scooter

Maggie and Mitch said...

A room with a view to the sunshine outside sounds much more pleasant and the additional room for your barkalounger sounds wonderful! Bless Charlie and everyone else who is helping you with Bogie! It's one less worry for you, Lulu!
You and Klaus remain in our thoughts and prayers constantly!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Ms. ~K said...

Lulu,
Although I had never visited your blog before Klaus entered hospital (I saw a post on another blog)-I have a strong sense of connection.

When I read your posts, I immediately start crying, because I have been right where you are-scared to death!

My ex-husband had testicular cancer (metastasized to abdomen and lungs). He was given little hope of survival and told if the cancer didn't kill him, the chemo would...He was only the 3rd person in the country to receive that particular combo of drugs, as part of a study group.
This was many years before Lance Armstrong was diagnosed and LA rec'd the same combo as Bill.

Bill was hospitalized for 4-5 days to receive his treatments. It was pure Hell to watch him suffer through each different drug's side effects. We had no children, my job (teaching) was wonderful, so I was with Bill from check in to check out for each treatment(he could only receive 3).

I won't ramble on anymore. I just want you to know that I do understand and am very concerned for YOUR well-being, as well as Klaus. It is much more difficult on the loved one of the patient than it is on the patient at this
point.

Positive energy and hugs to you ,
Kit
kitharland@windstream.net

BTW, Bill is alive, happy and very healthy!!!!

Dughallmor Beagles said...

Wooohooo, Bark-a-lounger! Glad to hear of a little progress, better than none at all, still have paws (and everything else) crossed for you ALL. Give that fuzzy scnozzle a kiss from us Beagles :D
Slobbers xx

Dughallmor Beagles said...

Duuh...I meant fuzzy schnozzle....the Bogie-nose... pissed fingers, hehe!

Noah the Airedale said...

Hey Lulu
The new room sounds good matie and we're glad you can get more rest there. It's hard to believe you have been there for just over a week now. Having Klaus's family there is great. Even if it is for a short time.
Here's to the power of the paw. There is a lot to be said for it!!

tailwags
Noah Willow Tess Lucy

Petey said...

Lulu and Bogie,

Great to hear that you've moved to a more comfortable room. When Mommy was in the hospital recently, she said just looking out the window made her feel better. Although the 5:00 am wakeups to take her blood pressure were irritating!

Now that Jackson is much better, I think the powerful Dog Star has taken on a more Bogart-like shape. And once more, we pups will be looking to the skies and barking at the Dog Star for you, Klaus and Bogart.

Love,

Petey and Mica and their mom

Asta said...

Lulu
Thank you fow that long update..we'we so happy you have had a little west..even if it's in small powtions..How wondewful that Klaus ' family wewe able to come, and that pwogwess is being made..evewy little step is pawsitive and ouw continood powew of the paw will flow towawds you.
no mattew how tiwing ow inconvenient, I believe that youw time wif Bogie awe bound to be good fow you..
put youw feet up and look at the sun and the staws thwough the window and know we awe thewe thinking of you
smoochie kisses
ASTA and Mommi

OhMy said...

Lulu, Klaus, and Bogie,

Sending grins, sloppy kisses, butt nudges, and leg grabs like only an Airedale can do! Sounds like things are improving at an excruciatingly slow rate. Make sure you take care of yourself Ms. Lulu!

Bogie, good job keeping the home front safe from intruders! Hope you are taking good care of the cats!

Cisco Kid Ochoa
Airehead Terror Extraordinare and his humans.

the 4 Bs said...

thank you for your update. you are constantly in our thoughts. we continue to send tons and tons of the power of the Bs to get Klaus better.

woofs

Molly and Taffy said...

Lulu

We really appreciate your updates. We are delighted to read Klaus has a nicer room now and you are managing to fit in some quality sleep.

We send woofs to Bogart, he certainly is doing a good job looking after your home.

Take care.

Molly and Taffy and Hilary

Alasandra said...

Hi Fenris likes pine cones too. We are purring and barking for your Daddy Bogart. We hopes he gets well soon and can go on a walk with you. ~Socks, Scylla, Charybdis & Fenris

Anonymous said...

As the other posters have said please take time for you. If we don't see a new blog entry for a while we understand, believe me. You have larger concerns at the moment. Regardless, there are many prayers and positive thoughts flowing to you all each day.

Finni said...

Hi Lulu,
We're checking in every day and really appreciate you sharing with us all. So glad the room is more comfy with window etc. We have looked up Portland on the map so we can send healing vibes more precisely. Lots of love to you, Bogart, kitties and especially to Klaus.
Take Care and sweet dreams on your Barkalounger!
Love Finni, Nelly & Mum xxx

Quinvale AstaLaVista Baby said...

G'day LuLu and Bogart,

We awe glad yow're getting rest and that Klaus family came fwom Austria! We hope things continue to get bettew. Mum leaves Israel in 2 days, but she made another twip to the Westewn wall and left another prayer fow you. We awe keeping ouw paws crossed!

xxx Asta (oz)

William Tell said...

Bogart is keeping you grounded when your whole world is askew. It's a very important job, and I'm sure Bogart does it with a smile. I'm glad Klaus' family is there to help you, too.

Happy Tails,
William Tell

Agatha and Archie said...

Well having sun will be wonderfull for both of you.Keep the IPOD going, keep Bogie coming and keep doing what you are doing because it is all working. We on the other side will keep all paws and legs crossed and keep the doggie zen and people prayers coming....Don't worry about writing..... we have you in our thoughts.........Diana (PL2)and A+A

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Ag and Arch are right...the sun is important!! They've actually done studies on patient healing and nurse's job satisfactiona and found a hospital room with a nice window is huge!!!!

We think zen was involved here too...

So glad ur getting a little more rest...taking care of yourself is soooooooooo important...thank heavens you have Bogie...his teddybear face and huge tongue can't help but give you some happy vibes...Dales are great, aren't they....

Love ya lots..

Marilyn, Scruffy, Lacie and Stan too!

Abby said...

Lulu, Klaus and Bogart,

We're so glad you have such a wonderful nursing staff who lets Bogart visit his Daddy. We don't know you guys, but we are reading your story and sending you healing wishes. What a great family you all are!

Love,
Abby, Olivia and Taz

Lorenza said...

Hi, Lulu!
Thanks for taking time to let us know how things go. A better room with a window sounds great.
Glad to know you are having more time to sleep.
Paws crossed.
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Sophie Brador said...

I'm in the country for the weekend with three other dogs and we are all crossing all of our paws, so that's 16 paws crossed just for Klaus.

We sure hope he continues to pass those hurdles.

xo
SB

sammawow said...

Lulu,
We were glad to hear of the room upgrade. It's much nicer to have a window if you are in the hospital! Glad that Klaus's family was able to be there with you and Klaus. And we can picture Bogart's handsome face peeking through the blinds!

Purrrrrrrrrrs, China Cat & Willow
and {{{hugs}}} from Mom Teri

Kirby said...

We think it's just pawsome that Klaus has moved to a better ICU room, now you can all enjoy the healing powers of the sun! Lulu, we hope you can sleep well in that fully reclined barkalouner. He he! Mom says that nothing is better than coming home to my fuzzy face, and it seems you feel the same way. There's just something about us Airedales! I hope Bogie got to meet his Austrian family while they've been here! We've been sending out positive thoughts every morning and saying a prayer for Klaus every night, so we hope it is helping. Oh, and all paws remain crossed!

With love,
Kirby & Kirstin

Dino and Family said...

Hang on there, Lulu! We are all behind you! Big warm hugs for you! Love, Dino

happy said...

Glad to know Klaus is in a better room. Glad to know too that Bogart is such a comfort to you. Will be thinking and praying for you and Klaus.

Scottie the 'cutie' said...

It's good to hear that Klaus got a better room...we're still sending those healing vibes over as well. =) And it's great to hear Bogart giving you comfort as well...hang in there!

Scottie

Morgan in Pittsburgh said...

Bogart - we just found out about your dad, and want you to know that me and Mum have our paws crossed for him. sending sheltie kisses and herding up some good vibes.
Your pal, Morgan

Rambo said...

Paws still crossed!
Rambo & MM

Sherry said...

I know how tough this is, having been through a similar experience with spouse; but being able to keep in touch via blog makes a big opening for LOTS of love and care to pour in.

Sherry & Alanis

Deetz said...

Our paws are still crossed.
We are sending extra zen this weekend, with lots of love
Deetzy

Caz and Ludo the cool dude said...

You are in our thoughts and can't even think what you and are going through. It must be a very scarey time for you and bogart everything up in the air and feeling so different we send positive thoughts and hope that slowly your strongh husband makes a steady recovery.keep your chin up.

ludo the cool dude

Ellen said...

Still thinking of Klaus every day and praying for the best.
Lulu, Bogart, get rest when you can and take care of yourselves, too.

Tenkiller Airedales said...

Hi Sweet LuLu.... I've been so sick myself that I haven't blogged in awhile. I just blogged and started to read what everybody has been up too. I just came across your blog and was horrified about Klaus!!! I will immediately begin to pray for all of you!!! I know that your probably emotionally spent at the moment... and very, very tired. How wonderful that the nurses are letting Bogie in to see, lick, and love on his daddy. There is just nothing more healing than puppy love!!! Keeping you in our prayers, paws crossed...

Sherry and the Tenkiller Tribe

Lady Kaos said...

Paws are still crossed at our house for Klaus. I'm sure Bogart really appreciates you coming home for walks, too. I'm sure he would prefer everything back to normal, too but for now I'm sure he understands. I don't know what I would do without my welcoming commitee after a hard day. It's hard to imagine what you are going through right now, but from my own experiences I know Bogart and the cats are doing all they can for you.
Stay strong Lulu.
Hilary & Kaos

Joe Stains said...

We knew Klaus could survive with all our help! We are glad Bogart is there for you and that you have found a hospital with truly caring nurses and doctors.