Thursday, February 19, 2009

Generosity Set to Overwhelming

The incredible kindness that has flowed from the hearts of so many has me in tears (as if I need to cry more).

I sit here with Klaus - talking like a chatterbox and stroking his hair - and I cry. A lot. Despite the best care and the very best healing vibes, it seems that his body may just be too weak. I'm still looking around for my miracle - for the coolest, handsome-est Dale daddy around.

Yesterday in the midst of one of my many rambling soliloquies, I think I mentioned kissing Klaus. There is far more meaning to that story than I was able to communicate at the time. Because Klaus is so heavily medicated and sedated, he responds rarely. He is on a ventilator, and has a large tube down his throat (amongst a zillion other things). In the midst of my chatter I said to him that one thing I really miss with him being in the hospital is when he kisses me, and that I cannot wait for him to get well so that I can get a big kiss. Just as I said that, his lips slightly puckered. So I bent down and kissed him - and he kissed back. It wasn't much, but it meant the absolute world to me.

Bogart is very, very confused. Klaus and I have always raised Bogart as our fuzzy child, and for the last few years Klaus spent every single day with him. There is a ritual - the two of them walk me to the bus stop in the morning, they have a long afternoon walk together in the forest, and then they pick me up at the bus stop in the evening. Everywhere that we can go that Bogart can come along, Bogart comes along. Right now Bogart gets to walk with me twice a day during the short times that I leave the hospital. Yes he's thrilled to see me, but he is always looking for Klaus to walk in after me. Last night after our walk I kissed him and explained that I had to go back to the hospital to see dad. He stood still as I explained, and then I walked out. I looked back to see a giant fuzzy Dale head in the window - watching. This wouldn't be remarkable except for the fact that Bogart NEVER looks out the front window. And this morning as I arrived, there was that fuzzy head staring just as I pulled up in the Bogcedes.

"Thank you" does not nearly come close to expressing how incredibly warm and loved that we all feel - Bogart, Klaus and I. In a sea full of very bad things, each and every one of you has been a fine oasis in which to spend a little time and think of very good things.

Love,

Lulu

58 comments:

Simcha said...

Our friend Penny sent us here to read and send vibes.
I am broken hearted reading this post. Never give up hope. Miracles can and do happen everyday. We are sending all our prayers and vibes to you.

Simcha

Opy - the Original GruffPuppy said...

Lulu,

Words can't convey the sorrow we feel for you - our hearts are breaking.

Constantly in our thought....

Brooke, Greg, Charlie & Opy

Faya said...

We are still here with you. We will always be here for you.
Kisses, VĂ©ronique, Faya & Dyos

Daniella said...

I am sitting here in tears reading your update and as you say, we don't know eachother. I think we can all identify with you Lulu, how awful it must be to see your beloved Klaus so ill. We are all praying praying for a miracle, that he will recover and come home..do not give up! Keep talking to him, he hears you I'm sure! I wish Bogart was allowed to visit...maybe when Klaus is a bit better? You are in my thoughts all the time and I am willing Klaus to get well!!
Hang in there, have faith and hope!!
Daniella and Axel
Philadelphia

Deetz said...

It takes alot for my mum to cry and she cries a river right now for your pain and image of Bogart watching and waiting for his companion. I am my mums child and I do not know what I would do without her. The power of paw Prayer just has to work, it will break my heart if it don't. God bless you for keeping us informed in this tragic time...
There are so many loving, caring, unconditionally hearts pulling for Klauss and your family in this community and we will continue to do so for as long as we are needed.
We love you
Deetzy

The OP Pack said...

We are hoping so much that you have good news to share soon. Poor Bogart must be so confused - but you are doing the best you can for him. Give him some extra hugs and loving from us.

Woos, the OP Pack

Alasandra said...

The kiss is such a sweet story, we are sure Klaus knows you are there and misses kissing you too.

We hope Bogart's Daddy gets to come home soon. We are sure Bogart misses him very much. It sounds as if Dad is his special person.

Healing purrs to Klaus and comforting purrs to Lulu and Bogart. With puppy licks and tail wags thrown in for good measure. ~S,S,C & F

Turbo the Sibe said...

We are still thinking of you

Petey said...

You, Klaus and Bogie rarely leave our thoughts these past few days. We keep checking back for an update and are so encouraged that you got your kiss. Maybe it will be like a fairy tale, but in reverse - where the kiss from the beautiful princess wakes up the handsome prince. Hmmm, does that make Bogie your fairy goddog in the story?

As Winston Churchill so eloquently put it:

Never give up. Never give up. Never give up.

Lots of terrier (and human) hugs,

Jane and Petey (and Mica the cat sends his purrs)

Digsby Mac Feegle said...

Don't give up. My dad was in the ICU (in Portland so maybe the same one) for 3 months. He is ok now. Digsby and I hope with you that Klaus will be ok. We have some practice at hospitals and offer this advice, don't forget to take care of yourself. Eat, shower, sleep, take breaks and go outside. Its important, good luck.

Lynne said...

You all continue to be in my thoughts. I'll continue to see Klaus getting stronger each day.

When you talk to Bogart, send him pictures in your mind. He will see what you are telling him. Even if it is something as simple as picturing the sun going down and you walking in the door (to let him know you'll be home after dark), he will get it.

I've been where you are. My heart is yours.

The Airechicks said...

Lulu - Klaus - Bogart & Kitties:

We love you!!! Hold tight...we're there with you. Know that you are so very special to us -

We'll be hold you tight in our prayers.

How can we get Bogart into visit his Dad?????? There has to be another dale lover in that hospital.....What about a webcam????

We LUV you ....


XXoooXXoooXXoooo

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Poor Bogart. It's no wonder he's confused. His world has been turned upside down and he doesn't know what is happening. But he does know his dad isn't there and you're sad. We so hope your husband will get well and be able to go home soon.

Eduardo said...

My Mommy wishes that she could hug you, Mommy knows that when she was in the hospital I was so confused, & small things like giving Daddy kisses & coming home to play with me was all she wanted. Mommy is praying for you, she is praying for a miracle! You just have to lift it up to God & let him take care of all your troubles. I'm snuggling for Daddy Bogart, I know he will be home soon. We Loves y'all!
Hugs & Snugs
Eduardo the Snuggle Puggle

Jeannie - Marvin's Mama said...

Lulu, we obviously don't "know" each other, but your eloquent posts during this sad time, break my heart.

Dogs are the most amazing and knowing creatures, I am not at all surprised by Bogart's behaviour, Dogs never cease to amaze me with their capacity to understand, and empathise.

Take care, we are thinking of you all.

Jeannie xxxxxx

Asta said...

Lulu
We've run to the computer every five minutes to see if there was any news..we refuse to give up..there are miracles..keep tlaking and kissing and stroking.I'm sure he knows...I remember seeing George attached to a thousand tubes..it was horrible..My heart is with you and Klaus and Bogie..let all the love give you hope
smoochie kisses from Asta love and hugs from Ami and George

Tibby said...

Lulu,
We are thinking of you and your family all the time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and updating us during this time when we are sure you have many other things going on. We are happy to hear that the comments have been helping you and hope that all the prayers and vibes being sent your way will help too. It was lovely to hear about the special kiss you had with Klaus, in hard times little things like that can mean so much.
Sending our love,
Tibby & Family

Maggie and Mitch said...

Your words have us all in tears, Lulu! Our hearts are breaking for you! We wish there was something we could do to help out! We're praying for that miracle - we are praying oh so hard!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Sally said...

Hang in there KIDDO. Our Momma is bawling too.
But still she laughs about the good times and the funny things.
Our uncle was dying and asked Momma for a drink, she said "I only have a coffee", he said "no cranberry juice" to which Momma said "you are picky". Our Uncle's last words to Momma was "Bite Me".
Now that is funny.
Sally XOXOX Big Hugs

Rambo said...

Bogart,
We stopped in cause we heard about what happened to your Dad.
We are so sorry he is sick and hoping and praying that he gets well soon so he can come home and play.
Sending chihuahua hugs,
Rambo & Midget Molly

Welcome To The World Of Airedale Life said...

It is a big help to write and talk so blog as much as you want. We are here to listen. Being a retired nurse I can imagine how you feel. Keep kissing and talking
to the love of your life.

We are thinking of you and thanks for sharing your feeling and situation.

Airelove and hugs
Ezzy, Jagger and Mom

Cassie said...

Dear Lulu, For sure Klaus feels your presense & hears your words.The kiss was God's way of letting you know this.Hold on to that special kiss, and keep up the conversation.Before Patrick turned in last night we prayed for Klaus together. Tell Bogart BabyRocketDog and Hootie send their Aireylove to him.

Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

Maybe Gussie khan swing by St Jude's and light a khandle...

We are all still 'pulling'...hey, I'm a Siberian HUSKY!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Lulu...thank you for your update...we've all been thinking about you, Klaus and Bogie non stop! You are in our hearts...we're bombarding heaven with prayer...the dogs have been sending ZEN across the states straight to your house and Klaus' room in the hospital. I am also a nurse...I once asked a patient...she was a retired director of nursing who had been hospitalized for several months seriously ill... I asked her if there was one thing we as nurses could do to improve the care we give what would it be...

She said "Talk to your patients as if they can hear you!" Evidently when it looked as if she was unconscious, nurses would carry on conversations as if she couldn't hear them...she said she actually heard and remembered so much when staff and family thought she couldn't...Your instincts are right...go with them!

We know Bogie is helping you so much right now...there is something about a dog when you are so troubled...!!!

Hang in there...and please...don't forget to care for and love yourself. It's hard, but you have to eat and rest and sleep...promise us???

Love ya lots,

Marilyn/aka Mumsie

Scruffy, Lacie and Stan

Kathryn and Ari said...

Hi, Lulu-
We've learned about your story from some of dog blogging friends. Please accept our best wishes and hopes for Klaus's recovery. I've read each of your lovely posts about him and can see so clearly both how special he is and how much you love him. You'll be in my thoughts.
Kathryn

Snowball said...

Hang in there, Bogart's mommy. We will continue to pray that your miracle will happen soon.

Luv
Snowball

Hollie and Janie said...

Lulu,
You are so incredible to be able to compose yourself enough to write such amazing posts! You have me in tears. I can not imagine what you are going through, and how difficult it must be for Bogart to "understand". I am always amazed at a dog's capacity for love and the shear joy just seeing that sweet, fuzzy face must bring you. I am sure sadness, knowing how much he misses Klaus. Maybe you could sneak Bogie in the hospital for some pet therapy! :)
You, Klaus, and Bogart have been in my prayers. I just lift your Klaus up in prayer. Miracles do happen. We will all continue praying. I know we dont' really know each other, but nonetheless, I feel like a friend. So just know that yall are loved and prayed for by an airedale in alabama and her mama.
We love yall!!!
Hollie and janie

Shmoo said...

The good vibes and thoughts will continue coming from the gimpy gang

Meeshka

Noah the Airedale said...

Lulu
I've said it before but we think of you all the time. We pray you get your miracle.
I've been wondering how Bogart is coping with this. Poor little fella, it must be hard. I always feel for animals as they just don't understand. I'm glad he is happy to see you when you come home.
Thank you so much for being strong enough to write to us all via your blog. I don't know if I could do that. Thank you.

Love
Denise xx
Noah Willow Tess Lucy

Maverick the Pirate said...

Harrrrr
Sending good Pirate vibes yer way Harrrr.
Cap'n Maverick the Pirate

Kirby said...

Lulu,

We are praying, sending out airezen and thinking every positive thought that we feel will help Klaus. We are absolutely heartbroken and are waiting for that miracle that will allow Klaus to give you many, many more kisses. Keep your faith and keep talking to him. Tell him he has to get better, get strong and come home as his Bogart misses him. Hugs to you all, and know that we are all thinking of you!

Kirstin & Kirby

Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

Expect that miracle, Lulu. Many are praying for you and the more that pray, the more likely a miracle will happen. Give it out to the universe that Klaus will recover. Power of positive thinking, power of prayer, power of the paw. So many of us are with y'all. Holding your family in our hearts. (Man-life gets hard, doesn't it?)
Hugs and love
Jamie & Sunny & Scooter

Sassy Kat said...

I just heard from my sissie, Asta, that Bogart's dad is really sick. I am wanting you to know that I am praying hard for that miracle that we need to get Klaus well and back at home with his family.
Please know that you are in my thoughts and in my prayers. I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

Sparky said...

We're still praying... Again, thank you so much for keeping us all updated on what's happening... We love you guys!

Sparky

Rudy said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, Bogart! We're adding our prayers for his recovery...


Love,
Rudy

sammawow said...

Lulu,
Klaus is in our prayers, along with you, Bogart and the kitties. We pray that Klaus will be back home with all of you again very soon. It's good that you can be there, talking to him. China Cat & Willow are sending over warm soft purrs to Bogart while he waits for his dad to come home.

Purrrrrrs, China Cat & Willow
and Mom Teri

Michelle said...

Hi there---you don't know me. I came from Meeshka's site (I am owned by Meeshka's sister Tashi). But I just wanted to say that what you're going through sounds very scary and I hope very much that your doggiedaddy will pull through. Here's to a fast and complete recovery, so he can be home in time to catch the next rare sunny day on Mt. Tabor (a place I would go EVERY DAY if I lived in SE Portland!).

Ms. ~K said...

Sending positive thoughts and energy your way!!!
Take Care,
Kit

Stanley said...

Sweet Lulu.

Along with everyone else who loves you we've been thinking about you, Klaus, and Bogart here in GooberStan. Thanks for the update. I'm so glad you got that kiss. Sounds like Klaus is aware you're there and still so connected to you.

My guess is that your instincts are right and you're doing the things that communicate love to Klaus (and to Bogart). Just keep doing it and don't forget to ask for help when you need it so you can take care of yourself.

We'll be here with you for each step of this journey. We're praying for some good news Pronto! If there is ANY way at all to get Bogart & Klaus together, that sounds like it'd be the icing on the cake. I'm sure Stanley & I could devise some sneaky way to get Bogart in the hospital (disguises and payoffs might be involved but we'd be up for it), but there'd be no disguising all the noise he'd make when he saw his daddy & mama together. We'll think on that (I'm guessing Bogart would be a little big to carry in in a tote bag a la Paris Hilton).

Please tell Bogie we're all thinking of your family and praying for you. Give him a big snuggle and another smooch on that gorgeously juicy schnoz of his from all of us. Stanley, Stella & Merv all send smooches to all 3 of you!

Even though I haven't met you, I love you, girl.

Lisa (Stanley's girl)

Aki said...

Lulu,

we will continue to be here for you, Bogart and Klaus, in whatever way and whatever means possible.

we will continue to pray that things will get better soon. words can never encapsulate what you are going through. please know that we will keep a candling burning for your family.

take care of yourself always,

with you in prayer,

Aki, Poopie and Micchi

MaoMao said...

Bogart, alla us Ballicai just founded out about yur sweet Daddy. We are so sorry to hear this newsies, and we are purrin and purrin with all of our might and sendin you lots and lots of love. Our hearts go out to you and we hope so much that yur Daddy will pull through this and get better.

Love and hope and comfort and purrs to you from MaoMao, Brainball, Dorydoo, Marilyn, and the Ballicus Mom.

the professionals said...

i insisted that i get my momma to give you and 'klaus' the biggest slobbers tonight before i go to bed - keep strong BOTH of you - loves and hope - doyle ;D you are in our thoughts!

Moco said...

Our hearts go out to all of you. The circle of healing vibes continues nonstop for Klaus. We just feel that Bogart and his daddy will be going on walks again.

Scottie the 'cutie' said...

Mom is leaking after reading the update...we will still be around to send healing vibes and prayers to Klaus. Be strong and we hope that Bogart will be able to go on long walks with you and his Dad very soon!

Scottie

Molly and Taffy said...

Thank you so much for your update. We, like everybody else have been checking in for news at regular intervals.

We continue to pray for you all and will be cranking up the positive vibes from the UK.

Take care of yourself.

Molly, Taffy and Hilary

Pugsley said...

My family and I will keep you in ou thoughts and prayer:)

Here are some Pug kisses to make you feel better:) XXXXXXXX

Keep your chin up
XOXOX
Pugsley & Family

Dughallmor Beagles said...

Came today hoping for good news....as I sat here reading, sobbing, sniffing, crying....Alfie got up from his nap, came over to me and rested his head on my shoulder. I feel certain that as people read your touching post, there will be furry chins resting on shoulders all over the world.
Hoping, praying, crossing everything for you, with love xx
PS. We have a Beagcedes!

NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

HI!
We're new to your blog but saw many postings. We just wanted to send our pawsitive vibes your way. Your recent post is very moving. Too bad bogart can give him a big kiss.. that may have enormous healing power.

Take care,
Norwood & Debi

Deetz said...

I never stopped praying all night long and got on here as soon as I could this morning to check on you..
There is a circle of paws all over the world making a big protective circle around your family and we pray for a miracle every minute of the day.
Smoochies
Deetzy

Amber-Mae said...

Bogart & Bogart's Mom, I hear about your papa/husband being very sick. I am so terribly sorry to hear this. We are thinking about you guys & a candle is lit up in our home for Klaus right now. We really hope he recovers very soon.

Love & Hugs,
Amber & Family

Joey said...

Hi Bogart. We've included your dad in our prayers but I wish there was something more I could do. If I lived closer, I'd come over and run around with you in the back yard to take your mind off the worrying and waiting. I'd even help you with your outdoor swimming pool construction project. But instead I'll keep sending good thoughts your way and keep hoping for the best.

Take care,
Joey

OhMy said...

My sincere sympathies. I was shocked when I read this on Facebook in the Airedales! group discussion board. I am so sorry for you. You and Bogey provided so much information for me after I got my first ADT puppy four years ago and I really enjoyed reading Bogey's adventures. It was such a help since I had no idea what to expect from an ADT. Cisco Kid aka the Airhead Terror was so much like Bogey that I felt reassured that Cisco was not abnormal. Well if he was, he was no more or less normal than any ADT.

I do wish we lived closer so we could help with Bogey and we will keep Klaus and you in our prayers. That is the least we can do to thank you for all the wonderful and informative blogs.

Best of Luck, keep the faith and I hope it all turns out well.

Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

Dear Lulu, Letting you know that you and Klaus and Bogie are remaining in our hearts. We are praying very hard for Klaus. And, they are right-taking care of yourself is important, but it is hard to do in that situation. We are all with you. Wish there was more we could do.
Hugs, love, peace, and prayers
Sunny,Scooter&Jamie
the texas sun dogs

Daisy said...

I would like to add my very very strongest healing purrs. And also, a sandpaper-y kiss.

Miss Ellie and Baz said...

Dear Lulu,
Please know that we are there with you sharing your tears.
I just wish that we could make things "right' so you didn't have to go through this pain.
But know we are all here for you, every step of the way.
Bogie is a Dale - they are SMART. He knows you are upset, he knows his daddy is missing. He will show you all the love he has, to help you get through this.
Hang in there.
We are sending our prayers, love and support,from around the world.

Jo, Miss Ellie and Bazzy.

Tweedles -- that's me... said...

Sending "pug prayers from Molalla Oregon. Your family is in our thoughts- sending love.
love
tweedles

Tweedles -- that's me... said...

Sending "pug prayers from Molalla Oregon. Your family is in our thoughts- sending love.
love
tweedles

Tweedles -- that's me... said...

Sending "pug prayers from Molalla Oregon. Your family is in our thoughts- sending love.
love
tweedles