Short Aire-tention Span Theatre

Bogart Handsome Devil in...

"Aire Dry"

Internet Hell

Ok, you all know me pretty well by now. You know how much I love this internet thing... getting to show off for all the world and have an audience for my ever-expanding beliefs.

Can I say how much I hate it though?

Mom is having some really really weird DSL issues so she can't use the internet at home. Everyday I hear her screaming at people on the phone about it. No one seems to be able to fix it (I bet I could fix it easier) and several of them have been foolish enough to hang up on her. Not a good idea, I can tell them that mom is pretty easy-going until you push her. Then all hell breaks loose and you were better off just doing what she wanted in the first place (or so I've heard).

So technically I won't be up and fully operational until.... wait for it.... next Monday. You'll probably hear of some violent deaths in the meantime in the Los Angeles area, don't tell anyone, ok, but I'm pretty sure that will be mom taking out some unhelpful internet representatives. In the meantime, I've still been documenting my life as always, here's a quick update on the last few days...

On Saturday (the day after the evil of the internet going down happened) mom's car started making funny noises. So since she's a girl, she thought, "hey, that means I must need an oil change" so off we went to our local EZ Lube. I watched the guys try valiantly to sell mom everything under the sun to go along with the lube-ing but she wasn't biting. Then we had to go wait outside because I was a little too excited about all of the activity inside and indeed I was thinking about how I could get down into that grease pit.

Sunday started out with some "duck shopping", uh, I mean some walking around the Echo Park lake. I was entranced with pigeons for some strange reason, and they formed this weird pigeon pyramid which just kind of freaked me out some more. Must try harder to bag one next time.

Later that day we went to Rally's - it's a burger joint with a Nascar theme - and needless to say, mom and dad aren't Nascar fans but they make a mean burger and they're cheap! So off we went, me stuffed into the back of a very hot car, to Rally's.

See how bright the photos are? That's how sunny it was, and damn that asphalt was hot. Had me doin' a Dale dance.

Then I smelled it. At first I didn't notice that mom had returned to the table holding a bag, I was just trying to catch some shadow. But slowly I turned...

A burger all for meeeeeeeee!

I even went for the bun - not to my usual taste, but today it was yummy.

So that should almost bring me back up-to-date... I miss all of my dog buddies, hope to be back at full force really soon.

Love,

Bogart

To Aire is Divine

Sebastian the Cat

Ok, while this looks hilarious (and I hope it doesn't start some stupid trend), please don't ever do this to me mom...

Love,

Bogart

I've Been Tagged!

Looks like I've been "tagged" multiple times now... I just had to get over the hump of turning 1, becoming a man, leaving my childhood behind before I could actually respond!

So here are the 5 weird and/or embarrassing things about me:

1. I have a red pillow (purchased at IKEA by mom just before I arrived in Los Angeles) that has been MY pillow for as long as I can remember. I sleep with my head on it, occasionally throw it into the air when I'm feeling playful, and yes, it is my humping pillow. Unfortunately, as I have grown exponentially since I was a tiny pup the pillow has not grown a single inch - so it's woefully inadequate for it's job as humping pillow. But I try.

2. I am in love with a raggedy old stray cat that mom feeds named Scruffy. If you saw him you'd know why we call him Scruffy. He's an old deaf orange tabby, and was obviously a tough guy in his day, but now he's got everyone in the apartment complex completely whipped into doing his bidding and bringing him food. Really, the walkway to our apartment is like a buffet line in Vegas. But I looooooooove him and get incredibly excited every time I see him. All I want to do is hold him down and lick his head, but sometimes I get too excited and forget to be gentle. But he's my f-a-v-o-r-i-t-e...

3. I howl whenever I hear a fire truck. First I stop everything I'm doing to look toward the source of the sirens, then I tilt my head first to the right, then to the left, so that I can get the exact tone in my head... then I tilt my head back all the way and howl along with the siren.

4. I'm a flaming bisexual. Male dogs, female dogs, humping at the wrong end, it's all okay with me. Once I get that "special feeling" I need some special "canine healing" (I learned my lesson and don't try anything with the cats... those claws are sharp!).

5. Whenever I'm given a bath (mom or dad will drag me into the shower with them so that we both get a good soaping) and it's over, I run out for what mom calls the "Aire Dry". I have no interest in the towels or blow dryers, oh no. I run at top speed all around the apartment rubbing myself all over anything and everything I can find. Then I get up and do it again. And again. And again. Then I fall into a heap, exhausted from running at top speed in a small place. Then mom laughs and I do it all again. Over and over until I'm basically dry. The Aire Dry.

Hope this has been educational for all of you... I'll start working on new and exciting things once all the cake has been digested.

Love,

Bogart

To Aire is Divine

Where to Buy

I just noticed that mom forgot to put up the link to the collar that she bought for me for my birthday…

The ebay store is Into the West

So if you wanna look as cool as I do, I can highly recommend these collars.

Love,

Bogart

To Aire is Divine

Happy Birthday to Me....

Happy Birthday to Me... Happy Birth-Day Dear Meeeeeeeeeee......

Happy Birthday to Me.

I did it - today I'm officially no longer a puppy (although mom still plans to use this as an excuse for virtually anything I do for at least another year or so). Today I become a man.

And that means gifts, as all of you dogs know. So mom brought out my big present... a FANTASTIC new leather collar!

I was starting to feel like she didn't care much about my appearance lately as my old collar was starting to get a little ratty and small.

It's a beautiful "cowboy cool" collar that she got from a really nice lady on ebay - check out her auctions HERE if you want one just like mine (and I couldn't blame you for wanting to look just like your idol)...

And what is the most important part of the birthday celebration - after presents that is? It's CAKE, of course. Mom got me a bone-shaped cake from Three Dog Bakery and boy was I ready to chow.

Dad sliced it (after they sang to me) into little pieces so that I could eat it easily without dragging doggie frosting all over the floor..... mmmmmmmmm.

Damn tasty cake.

Peanut butter cake with yogurt frosting and carob writing - it even said Happy Birthday Bogart on it with two doggie paws!

Kafka the cat thought he'd get "in on the action". Hell, I steal his food all the time so have a tiny piece my little buddy (and I mean a really small piece - more for me).

This is the resulting "cake coma".

I ate nearly half the cake by myself and needed a few minutes to, uh, digest.

Then mom dragged me out of the house again, but this time I was really in for some fun... we went over to her friend Marieke's house - the owner of my 3 favorite Airedales in the whole world!

I haven't seen them for awhile so I admit that I was a bit, ahem, randy and my excitement and hormones went into overdrive (and yes, in true rock and roll doggie style when I was done humping I starting puking - too much cake and hormones). But that's ok, they know me and still love me. And of course the fact that I brought them the rest of my birthday cake didn't hurt...

I'm thinking that birthdays should be celebrated far more often than once a year. This one was FUN.

Love,

Bogart

I celebrate everyday on my other blog:

www.toaireisdivine.com

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Hi there everybody, it's me Lulu. Bogart's mom.

I've spent the day today with Bogart trying to get him good and tired - running in the park, chasing ducks, that sort of thing - because tomorrow is a VERY SPECIAL day...

It's Bogart's 1st Birthday! I can't believe that he's going to be 1 already!

I bought him a special cake and a present (can't tell you what it is, I don't want Bogart to read this...) which I'll be posting tomorrow. I think I had as much fun buying his cake as he's going to have eating it.

See you tomorrow!

Love,

Lulu (and I'm sure Bogart)

To Aire is Divine

The Batteries and Me

Well apparently the battery for mom's camera died again - it's not that there hasn't been incredible excitement in my life for the last two days, these evil little fuel cells just continue to conspire against me.

This is the last photo taken of me just as mom said, "Gee, it looks like the battery might be running low"...

I have been informed that this situation should change as of tomorrow.

Love,

Bogart

To Aire is Divine

Fresh Mex

Apparently mom and dad went out for dinner tonight to a Mexican restaurant without taking me along. Yes I did everything in the dog handbook - looked up lovingly, went to grab my leash, sat and tilted my head to one side, even trying to squeeze myself between their legs when the door opened - but no luck. They still had the unmitigated gall to go out without me.

I spent a short time sulking after they left and then decided I must do something. I must teach them a lesson. This great injustice cannot go unpunished. It is simply unacceptable for them to go pretty much anywhere without bringing me along.

So I found mom's makeup bag. Yes, her favorite one. Somehow she had forgotten to put it in her purse when she left. I very carefully nudged through the contents to find at least one treasured item - in this case a green eye pencil - and chewed it into oblivion. Then as I realized that it really didn't taste that great (who says that revenge always tastes sweet? Sometimes it tastes kind of.... woody) I chewed the packet of Listerine breath strips. Mmm, nice and citrus-y. Then one more lipstick just to really drive the point home.

When they came in of course mom saw it immediately. At times it's difficult for me to understand her - especially when she's excited about something - so all I hear is "blah blah blah" and I just continue smiling and nodding my head until it's over. She started picking up the pieces while dad brought out the doggie bag. Yes folks I knew that they wouldn't risk complete destruction of the apartment and at least show up with the doggie bag.

It was just a few bits of steak and a nacho or two - but it was muy bueno.

Love,

Bogart

I'm going south of the border on my other blog:

To Aire is Divine

Flea Circus

Ok, I'm really really really hating the fleas.

At least I'm pretty sure it's fleas. Mom can't seem to find many and I don't seem to have any hot spots or other weird skin things... but I feel them. The little buggers are crawling all over me like the paparazzi do every time I step out the door.

Mom did the good human thing and tried the smelly stuff that went on between my shoulder blades (specifically so I couldn't reach it... bastards) and that worked a little. But now I'm getting itchy and scratchy again.

What do we need fleas for anyway? I understand that there are many creepy, crawly creatures out there that I may hate but that we need - bees, spiders, and the like - but fleas? What positive thing do they actually do? I can't think of anything, so I may have mom drop the nuclear flea bomb on them sometime this week (that is, the evil flea fogger that kills 'em dead). It means we have to clear out the place, dogs cats and humans alike so it's a pain (well, for them - I like getting out and about).

I will keep you informed of my progress...

Love,

Bogart

I'm scratchin' and grinnin' on my other blog:

To Aire is Divine

All the News that's Fit to...

Destroy, of course.

I overheard mom this morning complaining about the LA Times. Have I mentioned that she's from New York? She likes the NY Times, but now we live here in Los Angeles so it's a little harder to find "her" newspaper. She'll sometimes drive around to try to find it (only on Sundays, apparently, that's when the newspapers becomes large and unwieldly) but usually ends up getting an LA Times because it's just easier to find at the local 7-11.

Today I saw that she had bought an LA Times and I thought I'd do something that she would appreciate. Since I know of her distaste for the paper, I decided to "eliminate" it for her, you know, "get rid of it" so she wouldn't be forced to read it. I started slowly with the front page but that quickly lead into a full-on tearing of the paper limb from limb.

I reminded myself to make sure that I left all of the little bits of paper scattered around the living room for mom to see. So that she'd know how much I care, and that I did something special to make her life easier and more pleasant.

I'm such a gentleman...

Love,

Bogart

Stop the Presses!!! Check out my other blog:

www.toaireisdivine.com

Flea Market Fun

When mom said "lets go to the flea market Bogie" this morning I admit I was expecting the worst. What exactly is a flea market? Do they sell fleas there? Or is that where fleas go to do their shopping? Either way it didn't sound pleasant. I'm not a big fan of fleas. I get the itchies every once in awhile and while mom hasn't found many, all of you dogs know that when you find even one that means there are more of the little buggers running around.

But - oh, that's right - flea market means something fun! The first Sunday of every month is the Pasadena City College flea market. Mom took me here once before when I was a baby. Once we drove into the parking structure I remembered where I was. That is, after farting and barking the entire drive to Pasadena, much to the amusement (I'm sure) of mom's friends who were driving. Yup, nothing like rippin' a few while practicing scales, that's what I always say...

So I got to walk around for an hour or so and take in all of the accolades on behalf of gorgeous Airedales everywhere. It seems that a lot of folks who go to flea markets really appreciate my rugged good looks. That's a big paws up from me!

Love,

Bogart

To Aire is Divine

Paw it Forward

Now here's a great idea!

From my buddies over at DogsWithBlogs, it's called Paw it Forward! Blogging can be a lonely existence sometimes, especially if it feels like no one is reading your ever-so-important words. Comments (well, good ones that is) make us all feel warm and fuzzy, so the idea is this: Visit the Paw it Forward page on DogsWithBlogs and click on the blog listing. Check out five new blogs that you've never looked at before and don't forget to leave comments!

This way we all know that we are not alone... (and of course they were cool enough to include my picture on the banner - how can you not love that??).

Love,

Bogart

See all the latest news on my other blog:

www.toaireisdivine.com