Monday, March 01, 2010

I Did it My Way

I cannot believe that it has been one year now since Klaus passed away.

The 1 on the cupcake is for two things - acknowledging that it has been one year since Klaus has been gone, and also that it has been one year into my new life. So technically I turned 1 today.

My life as I knew it ended when I lost Klaus, and it's been a rocky first year of life without him. I suppose that for any creature the first year of life is difficult - you have to learn how to do so many things, you make lots of mistakes, and you are very dependent on everyone for everything - you learn how to eat, how to breathe, and how to live. I have new eyes now - the old ones weren't good anymore - they still have that "new eye smell" and are still a bit hazy, with lots of floaters.

I can't say that I've done well, only that I've done things truly "My Way", which is the best and only way I know how.

My ever-constant companion Bogart has truly kept me alive. His devotion, his protection, and his ability to make me laugh out loud every single day help me believe that still being alive is maybe not such a bad thing. Every person who has touched me this past year has made an impression, but no one could ever be close to what Bogart has done.

And of course my kitties - the little furry devils of my heart - sleep with me every night, helping me to chase away the perpetual nightmares (that's Aeon, trying to score some frosting)...

Again... Thank You All for your love and support.

And to my dearest husband-o Klaus, I love you, I miss you, and I will see you in my dreams.

Love,

Lulu

15 comments:

Randi said...

I guess a one year old is still learning...still trying to figure things out...& still crying...but that's OK..that's what one year old do!

We are sending you lots of love & hugs & support & cuddles - & licks to Bogart...he's become the main man in your life...your furry constant companion..

Hurray for Bogart...

& we will light another candle for Klaus tonight & look to the stars & smile...

Love & Licks,
Randi & her mom/secretary

Lorenza said...

Hi, Lulu and Bogart!
I agree with Randi and her mom.
We are thinking of you and Klaus in this special day.
Take care
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

McGillicutty said...

Hi Lulu and Bogart,

You will be in me thoughts and dreams tonight. You are me heros for carrying on so beautifully. It is most definitely what Klaus would have wanted...you are taking care of each other. Thanks for being me inspiration tonight.

Irish Love,
McGillicutty

Cassie said...

Dear Lulu, You have a gentle spirit and such a unique way of looking at things.AirePeople are special to start with I think.Your sadness was shared with so many of us a year ago.SO many tears. I thank you for sharing your new birth now. Bogart is such a doll (& the kitties too)& sure loves his mommy. You know you have so many friends. If you need anything, you have our email! Sharing in remembrance with you today.
X-Cassie (BabyRD & Hootie's mom)

Coco - The Princess said...

Lulu & Bogart!

you will be in our prayers on this special day. Doing things your way is a beautiful way to celebrate and remember.

Tail Wiggles & Puppy Kisses,

Coco The Princess, Lady Godiva, Truffle & The Mommy

Noah the Airedale said...

You're a champion Bogart. You are your mamas gardian angel. Thank you for looking after her.

Noah Willow Tess Lucy

Maggie and Mitch said...

We are thinking of you both on this tough day.
Enjoy your cupcake!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Karen Raye and Bentley Beargrass said...

Hang in there Lulu- thank god for Bogart and kitties. Sending hugs for all of you.

"ME N MY MILLION DOLLAR" said...

Its' love that kept us alive, just do it your way, you have all of us behind you, surport from every corner of the world. Just be yourself, hugs and kisses from me and my sister Dollar and our mom too.

Hollie and Janie said...

Lulu,
I cannot begin to imagine how difficult each day has been for you. I do know how an airedale's love can save one's life b/c I feel like Janie helped to make me a little more whole after my expereince with Sadie. (which is in no way similar to the loss you experienced!) You are always in our hearts!!
Love,
Hollie and Janie

Anonymous said...

Lulu,

Such a fascinating, and we think helpful, way of understanding your first year without Klaus. Thank you very much for sharing the truth of your grief.

Even though we've never met, you, Bogart and the kitties are often in our thoughts.

Love,

Miss Kitty and her Two-Legged One

Dawn said...

I too think of you often. Hugs to you, Bogart and the kitties. - Dawn and Katie the Sheltie girl in Michigan.

Sunny,Scooter,Shamus&Jamie said...

Lulu and Bogie tho today is Mar 2, you were on our minds yesterday(did not get internet access back til today ) All there is to say is Amen to what the others have said. I will never ever forget as long as I live coming home for a bit from the hospital with mom and going straight to ck on y'all The tears flowed for your loss I hope you like that we still keep y'all's special "flower" displayed on our sidebar : that pinecone.
Stay strong friend.
Love to you and Bogie and the kitties
we just didn't get the miracles we wanted, but what are we to do but live with it? And I am so very glad you ARE LIVING with it.

Rambo said...

Wow! One whole year. But you made it through so you are stronger than you thought!! Congrats. I'm sure Kraus would be proud.

Rambo and his G-Mom

Madi and Mom said...

Hi Lulu
Your courage and strength are amazing. Baby steps one at a time is all you can do and you are doing it beautifully,
Madi and MOm